Catching the Moment

I caught myself mid-correction and froze.

“The bog ran fast,” she said again, looking up at me.

My finger was poised over the page, ready to point out another backwards letter, another stumbled word. My child’s face fell slightly, and something in my chest twisted.

I was ruining this. I was only hearing the errors instead of witnessing the miracle unfolding right in front of me. Those mysterious black squiggles slowly transforming into recognizable shapes.

Here she was, cracking the code that opens every door, and I’d become the person with the red pen instead of the cheerleader watching magic happen.

The Fault-Finder Reflex

Somewhere along the way, my goal-oriented brain had rewired itself to automatically scan for what was wrong, what needed fixing, what wasn’t quite right yet. I’d trained myself to be a fault-finder.

And I was doing it everywhere:

• Judging my own progress instead of acknowledging how far I’d come.
• Critiquing my appearance in photos instead of remembering the joy of the moment captured.
• Focusing on my child’s grades instead of their effort and growth.

I’d become so focused on outcomes that I’d forgotten how to see the beauty in the process.

The Lens of Gratitude

Last week I read a quote by Louise Hay that summed this up so perfectly…

When you look with judgment, you see fault. When you look with gratitude, you see essence.

Oh, yes, x10000000 I thought!

Because here’s the thing. When we’re constantly scanning for what’s wrong, we’re missing what’s actually happening. We’re missing the essence of the people and moments right in front of us.

“Essence” opens space for the beauty of imperfection, the wonder of the journey and the messiness that is life.

This Shows Up in my Work

In my work helping people build their online presence, I see this show up all the time too.

People wait until they’re “perfect” to put themselves out there. Until they have all the answers, all credentials. They focus so intently on what they lack that they miss the unique value they already bring.

The same principle applies everywhere in our lives. When we shift from judgment to gratitude, from fault-finding to essence-seeing, everything changes.

Essence Over Errors—Every Day

So here’s what I’m trying this week:

• Pausing before I correct my children to ask myself: “Is this about helping them or about my need for things to be ‘right’?”
• Looking at my to-do list and celebrating what I’ve accomplished instead of obsessing over what’s still undone
• Appreciating the messy, authentic moments with my family and relaxing into the chaos!
• When friends share their struggles, holding space for their experience instead of immediately trying to fix it

Maybe you want to try it with me? Pick one area where you’ve been keeping score and see what happens when you choose gratitude over judgment.

By the way, she doesn’t get them mixed up anymore. Those “b’s” and “d’s”. That cute chapter is now closed.

I can’t go back to the moments I got it wrong. But I can choose to see essence over errors in all the moments still to come—hers, mine, ours!